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Unresolved Anger and how it affects you
Brad Smith • Jul 17, 2019
All of us experience bad days now and then. The definition of a bad day varies for everyone, some consider being late for work and missing the train as a bad day while for others it can be much more intense like their significant other caught cheating on them or a loved one diagnosed with cancer. There is nothing wrong with feeling bad, no matter what the reason. Adversity and rough days are a part of life and getting through them significantly contributes towards one’s personal growth. The problems start when we begin to ignore our feelings.
Negative feelings
like anger, sadness, and fear are very unpleasant to experience and often such feelings if taken seriously require an individual to take some sort of action. For instance, if a loved one disappoints you or hurts you then it is necessary that you confront that person. Confrontation can induce intense pain and anxiety and people falsely believe that the best way to deal with such feelings is to put them out of your mind. However, that is not the right answer.
What Is Emotional Avoidance?
Most of us learned to ignore or avoid bad things during our childhood. However, this ignoring of bad experiences and your feelings about them will not make things better. Rather, the more you avoid confrontation and don't acknowledge that something is wrong, the worse it gets. Psychiatrists and therapists call this the concept of “emotional avoidance.”
Using Anger in a Positive Way
If you have a lot of anger inside you and it troubles you then you should use it for good rather than let it destroy you. You should use the massive buildup of adrenaline in your system to take charge of your life and be productive. Anger and other such emotions lead to biological and physical changes in your body. They can increase your blood pressure, heart rate, hormone secretion, and adrenaline level.
Negative Emotions
Negative emotions are an important part of you and they can be very useful. They act as warning signs that you might be in danger and you might need to take certain actions. It is similar to physical stimuli such as pain.
For instance, you might burn yourself if you don't feel pain when you get too close to the fire. In the same way, if you feel angry or frightened then you shouldn't disconnect from the feeling. You should instead take some time for analyzing why you might be feeling that way. You might realize that you are in danger and you should get out of the situation or you may need to confront the situation. On the other hand, you might come to the realization that this situation is not serious rather it is triggered you because it reminds you or is connected to a similar situation in the past which was harmful and hurt you.
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If these negative feelings arise from a serious past trauma then it might indicate that you should seek out professional help. Please use
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